Crying is not a bad thing（爱哭不是坏事）

Two days ago, and Lulu to chat, talking about what his childhood, he said: "I was a child crying." I said it was emotionally rich performance.
But in fact, there is a deeper meaning. He's crying, that he has not been much depressed, he is free to express emotions. Recall, I did almost no reprimanded him, "the boys, but also so crying!" "Crying, You did not hurt!" "You do not fall down, what a good cry!" And so on. In short, whenever he cried, certainly because of the pain, sadness, it is his feelings, although I did not read much psychology, but it is instinctive respect for him, not blame, ridicule, but a very care to comfort him to understand what happened in the end, make him feel understood, is love. This fact would make him face his own feelings, to accept and express themselves openly, not to hide and distort.
Contrary example, before the yard there was a child, the father is the police station, there is a conflict with his other children, was beaten to cry, and ran home. I just had the window from his home to just heard his mother snapped: "You are a man Wazi, can not win the others, I myself did not skill, and have the nerve to cry!" This rebuke, not only morally violent, that is, the mental health of children is harmful. This is the beginning of split personality - feeling ashamed of their own, learn to hide and suppress, and then develop, and perhaps hatred and revenge.
（译者；谷歌翻译）       （作者；鲁稚）
（本文转载自新浪博客；http://blog.baby.sina.com.cn/s/blog_562cb2610100my0e.html）I am also very crying child, previously has been a disgrace, it now appears, this is not a bad thing. 'd Kind of "disgrace" mentality, that I'm not normal.

前两天和鲁鲁聊天，说起他小时候的事，他说：“我小时候就是爱哭。”我说这是情感丰富的表现。

但其实，还有更深层的意义。他的爱哭，说明他没有受到太大的压抑，他是可以自由表达情绪的。回忆起来，我确实几乎没有训斥过他“男孩子，还这么爱哭！”“哭什么，你又没受伤！”“你自己不小心跌倒，有什么好哭的！”等等。总之，但凡他哭，肯定都是因为痛苦、难过，这是他的感受，我当时虽没有读过多少心理学，但却是本能地尊重他，不会责备、嘲笑，而是很呵护地安慰他，了解到底发生了什么事，让他感到被理解，被爱护。这其实也会让他正视自己的感受，坦然地接纳和表达自己，不会去掩饰和扭曲。

相反的例子，以前院子里有个小孩，父亲是派出所的，有一次他和别的孩子发生矛盾，被打哭了，跑回家。我正好从他家窗下过，就正好听到他妈妈呵斥：“你一个男娃子，打不赢别人，自己没本事，还好意思哭！”这样的训斥，不仅在道德上有暴力倾向，就是对孩子的心理健康也是有害的。这就是人格分裂的开始——以自己的感受为耻，学会掩饰和压抑，再发展下去，或许还有憎恨和报复。

我自己小时候也是很爱哭的，以前一直以为耻，现在看来，这并不是坏事。倒是这种“以为耻”的心态，说明我不正常。